A was an apt Alligator,

Who wanted to be a head-waiter;

He said, “I opine

In that field I could shine,

Because I am such a good skater.”

B was a beggarly Bear,

Who carefully curled his front hair;

He said, “I would buy

A red-spotted tie,—

But I haven’t a penny to spare.”

C was a cool Chimpanzee,

Who went to an afternoon tea.

When they said, “Will you take

A caraway cake?”

He greedily took twenty-three!

D was a diligent Doe,

In summer she shoveled the snow;

In the spring and the fall

She did nothing at all,

And in winter the grass she would mow.

E was an erudite Ermine,

Who tried very hard to determine

If he should earn a cent,

How it ought to be spent,

And decided to purchase a sermon.

F was a fussy Flamingo,

Who remarked to his family, “By jingo!

I think I would go

To that animal show,

But they all talk such barbarous lingo.”

G was a giddy Gazelle,

Who never could learn how to spell;

But she managed to pass

To the head of her class,

Because she did fractions so well.

H was a haughty young Hawk,

Who affected society talk;

But when introduced

At a large chicken roost

He excitedly screamed out, “Oh, Lawk!”

I was an idle Iguana,

Who lived upon curried banana;

With tears he’d protest

That he never could rest

Till he learned to sing “Eileen Alanna.”

J was a jimp Jaguar,

Who purchased a Spanish guitar;

He played popular airs

At fêtes and at fairs,

And down at the Fancy Bazaar.

K was a kind Kangaroo,

Whose bonnet was always askew;

So they asked her to wait

While they put it on straight

And fastened it firmly with glue.

L was a lachrymose Leopard,

Who ate up twelve sheep and a shepherd,

But the real reason why

He continued to cry

Was his food was so lavishly peppered.

M was a mischievous Marten,

Who went to the Free Kindergarten;

When they asked him to plat

A gay-colored mat,

He tackled the job like a Spartan.

N was a naughty Nylghau,

Who wandered too near a buzz saw.

It cut off his toes,

And the shrieks that arose

Filled all of the neighbors with awe.

O was an ossified Oyster,

Who decided to enter a cloister.

He could not return,

So continued to yearn

For his home in the sea, which was moister.

P was a poor old Poll Parrot,

Who had nothing to eat but a carrot,

And nothing to wear

But a wig of red hair,

And nowhere to live but a garret.

Q was a querulous Quab

Who at every trifle would sob;

He said, “I detest

To wear a plaid vest,

And I hate to eat corn from the cob!”

R was a rollicking Ram,

Attired in an old pillow sham.

When asked if he’d call

At the masquerade ball,

He said, “I’ll go just as I am.”

S was a shy Salamander,

Who slept on a sunny veranda.

She calmly reposed,

But, alas! while she dozed

They caught her and killed her and canned her.

T was a tidy young Tapir,

Who went out to bring in the paper;

And when he came back

He made no muddy track,

For he wiped his feet clean on the scraper.

U was a young Unicorn,

The bravest that ever was born.

They bought him a boat

And they set him afloat,

And straightway he sailed for Cape Horn.

V was a vigorous Vulture,

Who taught animals physical culture;

When a pupil dropped dead,

The kind teacher said,

“You needn’t consider sepulture.”

W was a wild Worm,

All day he did nothing but squirm.

They sent him to school,

But he broke every rule,

And left at the end of the term.

X was a Xiphias brave,

Who lived on the crest of the wave.

To each fish he would say,

“Good day, sir, good day!”

And then a polite bow he gave.

Y was a young Yellowhammer,

Who raised a ridiculous clamor;

And he chattered until

An owl said, “Keep still!

I’m trying to study my grammar.”

Z was a zealous old Zibet,

Toboggans he tried to prohibit.

If any one tried

To take a sly slide,

He ordered him hanged on a gibbet.