I am a whacky wizard With whacky wizard ways. I feast on chicken gizzards And jars of mayonnaise! I change grown-ups into ketchup And kids to tater tots. Then I mix them all together And put them in a pot. For I am the kind of wizard Whose magic power is food. I drink milkshakes made of lizards. I’m a whacky wizard dude. My neighbors are very frightened Of the wicked things I do. I change their pets to hot dogs And have a barbecue. But wizardry is lonely And my food is much too rich. It’s not much fun to eat alone, I guess I’ll find a witch!